7/25/2013 -- Mariners, Twins Astound

Last night, there was a professional baseball game played between the Seattle Mariners and the Minneapolis Twins. By the official rules of baseball, the 40-or-so professional athletes who comprise the Twins were the “Losers”, while the 40-or-so professional athletes who comprise the Mariners were the “Winners.” Yet, it should be made clear, this is far from the whole story. Each and every member of the Twins organization likely spent their entire childhood being the greatest athlete they had ever met. Each is better than hundreds, or even thousands, of other decidedly professional athletes who they have left in their wake over their careers. Each and every ballplayer, even those typically considered weak, could beat me up. Each and every one could, and has, hit a ball of yarn and leather, thrown at well over 90 miles-per-hour and with bizarre intricacy of spin, very hard and with a piece of wood. The musculature, the hand-eye coordination, the commitment is truly absurd. The lowest paid player on the Twins will earn nearly a half a million dollars this year, and there’s a reason. These men are not losers. It would be far more apt to call them Gods.

Yet, to be naive for a moment, the Twins “lost” last night, and the Mariners “won.” In fact, to be absolutely and unnecessarily specific, the Mariners won by a score of 8-2. Players for both the Mariners and Twins swung at dozens and dozens of gruesomely fast-moving, weirdly spinning baseballs, and managed a number of hits that should be shocking for all but the most jaded. The Mariners got a total of 11 hits, the Twins a total of 8, but the Mariners hits happened to take place in quick succession, when players who had already hit the ball happened to be on base, and due to the vagaries of base-running we cannot help but add another tick to the ol’ Win column. 

Tonight, the Mariners once again take on the Twins, sending the unimaginably talented Felix Hernandez to the mound to take on a player who is equally unimaginably talented compared to probably anyone you will ever meet in person, Scott Diamond. Go M’s!